i always love the beginning of new months, it’s like a fresh start. last month was tough. but i think that once in a while everyone goes at that point where they have drunken a little bit and the next day is hangover mode on. it has happened to me and I’m sure to everyone I know. its kind funny, and sad. so this month i want to start reading some motivational books cause there are quite a few people who truly inspire me even fictional characters such as Bilbo from The Hobbit can somehow inspire me. think about people who play in bands, make art and even people who already died. anyways, so that’s where my mind has been these days. the reason why i keep my feelings to myself is because i cant explain them. i am confident i am over my ex. so much that some mornings i wake up with a smile on my face and my hands pressed together thanking the universe for pulling her out of me. thank god i cry. thank god she left. i would not be the empire i am today if she had stayed. to be honest, there were some nights i imagine what i might do if she showed up. how if she walked into the room this very second all the awful things would be tossed out the closest window and all the love would rise up again. it would pour through my eyes as if it never really left in the first place. as if it’s been practicing how to stay silent so long only so it could be this loud on her arrival. but then i realize that loosing someone is not the end of something, it’s the beginning of a new thing. even stars can’t shine without darkness. forget what hurt us, remember what it taught us, and everything will be OK in the end. if it’s not OK, it’s not the end.